Call your boyfriend. It's time you had the talk. Give your reasons.  Say it's not his fault, but you just met somebody new.  Tell him not to get upset, second-guessing everything you said and done.  And then when he gets upset tell him how you never mean to hurt no one.  Then you tell him that the only way his heart will mend is when he learns to love again.  And it won't make sense right now but you're still his friend and then you let him down easy...



Isn't it weird how everything is mind numbingly boring these days?  I mean really fucking boring.  You just sit at work and stare.  Or you help customers who all want the same shit or all have the same complaints or just...blahhhh.  It's all the fucking same.  People are all oh life is what you make it.  But how can you make it anything special when everything's the same.  Even if you take vacations you still fall into the same pattern.  You pack, you leave, you get mad at whatever travel arrangements you're taking part in, you get there, you have a little fun, you dread coming back, get mad at the travel arrangements again and then you're home staring at the same fucking 4 walls you did when you left.  Going back to the same boring fucking job you were at when you left.  Even if you have a great job it's still the same.  I mean how many people LIKE their jobs?  Maybe a handful.  I only knew one person in my LIFE that said "OH BOY I'M SO GLAD TO GO TO WORK TODAY!!!!" and it was a teacher.  Why WOULDN'T you be glad?  2 months off in the summer.  A bunch of weeks off in the middle.  Having to work like 5 hours a day depending on what your class is.  What a joke.  Sure you have to deal with obnoxious kids and retarded parents but if you're cut out for it then you have a great time.  If not you move onto something else that you're more suited for.  THE POINT IS!!!!!  There's nothing that's exciting anymore.  I kinda just want to shrivel up and die.

I'm getting pretty tired of coming here.  I've been on a roll lately of doing things right and it makes me feel good about myself but then again..I'm not really getting ahead.  I'm doing a great job and I'm not getting anything for it.  I'm getting a paycheck yes but I can do a shit job and still get a paycheck.  I dunno I'm just..tired of it.  I'm tired of being home I'm tired of being here.  Even in my car it's annoying because no one knows how to fucking drive.  There's only one place I like being every day and I think we all know where that is.  And if you don't that's all right cause really only one person should know what I'm talking about.  DA BEAR!!!!!

Anyway I dunno there's nothing to do again today so I decided to post this incredibly depressing shit.  I just can't help it.  I really am just down to no end lately.  I just want to leave here forever.  If money weren't a problem I would get the fuck out of here and never look back.  Well maybe I'd look back cause there are still a few people I really like here.  I dunno what to say I just...I dunno.  LIFE!!!!!  RAWR!!!!  It's so fucking annoying. 

In other news I found out what I was doing wrong with the enchantments for Skyrim.  But it's REALLY fucking upsetting because...well while it's really great...you can't put two of the SAME enchantments on the same item.  Fucking gay.  I wanted to put all kinds of shit on the stuff but I can't.  You have to put on two DIFFERENT ones.  Luckily most of the things you can enchant have good enchantments otherwise..what's the point.  So now I have like +11 billion in Two-Handed Weapons and I can carry like 900 pounds.  FUN SHIT HOME BWAH!!!!

All right I've had enough of posting for the sake of posting.  I'll be back perhaps tomorrow if nothing's a-brewin at work again.  *sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh*  oh well.  I love you.  Goodnight!!!!!

Yeah, because I can see us holding hands, walking on the beach, our toes in the sand.  I can see us on the countryside, sitting on the grass, laying side by side.  You could be my baby, let me make you my lady, Girl, you amaze me.  Ain't gotta do nothing crazy.  See, all I want you to do is be my love.



AHHHH for the love of fucking christ.  I'm so tired of fucking life.  It's been forever since I've fucking posted huh?  HUH!?!?!??!?!?!?!  I actually don't remember when it was.  Definitely before fucking christmas.  I don't even know.  A lot of shit has fucking happened since then though I can tell you that.  My cousin died, I got into a car accident, I decapitated a one armed scottish midget.  All kinds of shit just fucking going on.  Even the Raiders did well in football.  CRAZY SHIT MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!

So yeah I have absolutely nothing to do at work and I haven't had anything to do all day.  I really don't know why they won't let us go home or why we were even told to come in today.  We literally can't do anything because the banks are closed so it's really a catch up day.  Except we have nothing to FUCKING catch up on.  RAWR!!!!!!

Oh you know it's actually since before november huh?  Since I last posted?  Because I didn't say anything about Skyrim.  I fucking love skyrim.  I love the fuck out of it.  Though there are some things that really upset me about it.  I spent a lot of time leveling up my enchanting so I could buy the top perk and when I did it didn't work.  A perk that didn't work!!!  You jerk...off.  Anyway I'm really fucking pissed off.  I spent a lot of fucking time on it and for nothing.  I mean not nothing because now all my enchantments are fucking ridiculously strong but STILL.  WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!  Then I found out the same thing happened for fucking smithing.  I built up my smithing to 100 to get the dragon armor perk and it turns out that fucking daedric armor is stronger...what the FUCK!!!  Though you need Daedra hearts to build said armor and I only had one and I used it for a daedric great sword.  Which by the way is fucking disgusting.  So better to have the second strongest armor until I get more daedra hearts than to go through with ebony armor and suck at life.  I really wanna know why the enchantment perk doesn't work though!!!!!!!!  RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm really getting tired of life.  I mean legitimately tired of fucking life.  I sit here or I sit at home.  There's no going out because my friends don't fucking call.  They all go "ohhh dude I miss you blah blah blahhhh" but then never fucking call me.  Then there's a whole bunch of other shit that I don't really wanna talk about.  Then when Ferg's sister died I asked him every fucking day for months if he was all right and if he needed something.  My cousin died and he asked me maybe for 3 days after.  Now I understand that there's a big difference between a sister and a cousin and I'm not EXPECTING him to ask me if I'm all right but..for fuck sake he just completely stopped talking to me after a few days.  Not even a hey what's going on kind of thing.  And then would text me during giants games.  I dunno man I just..what the fuck.  Why is it when it's time for someone ELSE to be a good friend to ME all of a sudden they forget everything I've done for them.  Whatever though I'll live.  I'm just really tired of fucking sitting home is really all it is.  I need to get out and do shit.  I'm going fucking crazy and I can feel my life being wasted away.  I fucking hate it.

Then there's fucking work which I don't really fucking have to say anything about.  It's just obnoxious.  I'm doing all the work and getting none of the credit.  The only time I get credit is when I do something wrong.  Then everyone and their fucking cousin comes out and points their grubby fucking fingers at me.  I hate them.  I've been doing such a good job that the branch manager from one of our other offices wrote out this huge e-mail to my boss recommending me and telling her how helpful I've been and great and blah blah blah and the fucking bitch said nothing to me.  She fucking said nothing.  Not "thanks for helping the department look good" no "hey good job keep it up" fucking NOTHING.  Fucking cunt I can't stand it here.  But today there was a mistake and instantly OH TELL MARK OH SHOW MARK HE DID SOMETHING WRONG!!!!!  Except I fucking didn't do something wrong because THEY were the ones who were wrong.  Yet when it was time to admit that I was RIGHT...nothing.  Fucking nothing.  No sorry for accusing you.  Sorry for wasting your time on something that was never your fault in the first place.  Absolute dick.  Don't even get me started about raises.  I hate my life and this fucking place.

Anyway yeah..I have a shit ton more I could write about but A) I'm lazy and B)...I dunno I just don't feel like writing about it.  If you REALLY wanna know you can ask me.  If not you can just fuck off and be like everyone else.  Just use me until you don't need me anymore.  I don't mind everyone else fucking does it.  Whatever.  I love you.  Goodnight.